Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Hilary White's avatar

5 years ago, I was feeling desperate. I had left the world of activism because I simply couldn't stand the feeling of how useless and pointless it was to turn my mind to so much anger and evil all the time. But I didn't know what else I was supposed to do. It had been four years and I hadn't been able to settle into any other kind of work. In desperation, in October, I went down to Rome to attend a conference some former colleagues and old work friends had put together - it was the week of Pachamama - and the one thing I came away from it understanding was that "backwards" was a road that was completely irrevocably closed. But there seemed to be no "forwards" presenting itself.

I spent a week in the horrible old City, and was no further ahead, and was feeling increasingly desperate. But at one point I had walked past the old Poggi art supply shop in Trastevere, and noticed a poster in the window for an iconography course. It was already past the date, so I'd missed it. But I jotted down the name and email and sent an email off anyway. I received the expected note fairly promptly that the space for the next class was full, but she'd put my name on the list for a cancellation.

Also at some point during that dreadful week, I went into Sopra Minerva - the big Dominican church near the Pantheon where there are some glorious Lippi frescos, St. Catherine of Siena's body and general Gothic gloriousness. I stopped for a few minutes at the tomb of Fra Angelico, lit a candle and prayed for some light on my troubles.

I went back to Umbria at the end of that week, and up to Norcia to talk to Fr. Oblate Master, and he said that my feeling of very strong aversion to the thought of getting back into activism was definitely the right one, and a divine signal, not to be ignored. And anyway, he said, I was probably past the point of being capable of going back.

When I got home from all that, I checked email and found that there was a note from Sr. Susanna saying that there had been a cancellation and would I still like to come to the class? I mentioned this to a friend - for whom I'd done several favours - and the next day found a thousand dollars in my paypal with the note, "For your icon class." I was not to know it, but lockdowns were going to start about two months after I finished the course, in December 2019. It was the entire change of life-direction I'd been seeking, and at such a time! Nothing has been the same since.

Expand full comment
Christina Jaloway's avatar

Thank you for this! Fra Angelico’s Annunciation is one of my top 5 favorite works of art and I was blessed to be able to see it in person at the Prado in 2011. Now now I want to get a print of the Coronation too!

Expand full comment
17 more comments...

No posts